so, a week later and I am finally getting back to writing, I don't have the level of energy when I get home to sit at a computer , I have a sweatshirt that says, "Too Many Books, So Little Time" , now it is so many blogs, so little time. My last day was better than I could anticipate. I had had no guideline provided for closing a practice, about 60+ clients and two offices to back up, it seemed daunting at first, but I thought long and hard and created a plan and carried through on it. Most of my clients came in the last day, at 1pm there was a general reception which quite a few dropped in on. Very kind words were spoken by the medical direct of adult medicine, the HR director, and even by the medical director of my department, someone I have had very little respect for. He is very emeshed with our director of counseling who is a very sick woman. My colleague figured out that the sicker she gets, the more his addictive behaviors come out. but apart from her, I could take in what he was saying and believe some of it, from her I would have not. Where was she? She left on vacation without saying a word, not a big surprise. In the past couple of months, others have resigned after me and left before I did. I watched her tear them up and was certainly in high alert, (I call it the meercat position) everytime I heard high heels in the hall I cringed and several women in the dept. wear them. But by the beginning of last week, I finally got to, "Let her, she can't hurt me." It never happened.

After the reception I met with asst director for the offical exit interview and then with the director, an old friend of 20+ years. When I had told him in February I was leaving, he listened to me and said, It sounds as if your time is complete here, I replied "Precisely" In the following months it has been said to many times by people there that I can always come back, if I don't like it, this is always your family. I had wanted to throw up, I had said this was an incestuous family and I only need one in my life. So back to C., I told him how peaceful I felt, he told me that in the past two weeks more people came up to him to express regret in my leaving and all I have done for the patients, how I advocated for them.. He then said, it only confirmed for him that my mission was done. He never once said, "this is alwasy your home" Praise God. I finished up with my last client who presented me with a 2' porcelain angel doll as a thank you, I was very moved, while wondering what I wouls do with it. My phone had rung several times in that session and when she left, the secretary appeared in my door and said the director wanted to talk with me. He actually called from Atlanta to thank me and wish me well. I was somewhat surprised but responded warmly. I was still not quite complete in closure but elected to come back the next day. Storm is a coming more later